The Buffer: Becoming Before Receiving + Practices for the Journey

We will not truly reach what our heart longs for until we’re willing to pass through the buffer — that sacred, disorienting space between who we were and who we’re becoming. It can feel endless, even cruel, depending on how far one has come in their inner growth.

The buffer is the space between letting go and becoming — where identity dissolves, and transformation quietly begins.

It’s where everything familiar falls away. You no longer fit into your old life, yet the new one hasn’t fully arrived. You stand at the edge of the unknown, stripped of ego, past titles, and former glories that once defined you but no longer serve you. And in that raw, vulnerable moment, you’re asked to take a leap — with no guarantees.

And this space isn’t meant to be easy.

It’s meant to test what you’re made of.

The way this passage unfolds depends on your depth. The universe doesn’t hand out energy or blessings freely. Why do you think you’re ready? Prove it. If you’re gifted an opportunity before you’ve earned it, you might squander it, abandon it, or fail to recognize its worth.

But when you’ve walked through fire — humbled, sharpened, transformed — and you’ve done the real work to become more than you were, then what comes to you arrives not as a reward, but as a reflection of who you’ve become.

And here’s the paradox: in that moment, you might not even feel joy.

You simply keep moving.

The joy comes later — when you look back and finally understand what you’ve become.

And realize the buffer was never the punishment…

It was the path.

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Practices for Moving Through the Buffer (Without Losing Yourself)

The buffer — that sacred in-between space — can feel disorienting, lonely, and silent. But there are ways to soften the path while staying devoted to the journey.

These are not shortcuts — they’re soul-anchors.

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1. Name the Season You’re In

Simply acknowledging that you’re in the buffer — not lost, not broken, just becoming — brings immediate grounding.

Try saying: “This isn’t the end. This is the passage.”

Practice: Journal or speak out loud what you’re letting go of, and what you’re choosing to become.

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2. Speak Kindly to Yourself

This is not the time for self-criticism. You’re already in the fire — don’t throw yourself in further.

When you’re fragile, gentleness is strength.

Practice:

• Talk to yourself like someone you love deeply.

• Pause when inner dialogue turns harsh, and shift to something kinder.

• Try: “I’m proud of myself for staying in this.” or “It’s okay not to have all the answers today.”

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3. Commit to Stillness Before Strategy

This isn’t a time to “figure it all out.” It’s a time to listen. The clarity you’re craving won’t come from thinking harder — it comes from deeper stillness.

Practice:

• Daily silence or mindful walks.

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4. Find a Meditation Practice That Grounds You

Not all meditations work for everyone — but when you find one that resonates, it becomes a refuge.

Practice:

• Choose one guided meditation and commit to 21 days.

• Let it become a space you return to, no matter what.

This is one of my go-to meditations — it’s helped me come back to the present during challenging times, and has often brought me deep, restful sleep: Yoga Nidra for Sleep

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5. Create Micro-Rituals of Trust

Ritual brings rhythm to chaos. Even the smallest actions, done with intention, remind you that you’re held.

Ideas:

• Light a candle in the morning with an intention, burn it while playing a mantra or prayer.

• End the day by writing one thing you accomplished — even if it was just getting out of bed.

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6. Tend to Your Inner Flame, Not External Proof

In the buffer, you may receive little validation from the outside world. That’s by design. You’re learning to become your own source of truth.

Practice:

• Track internal wins: courage, consistency, honesty.

• Ask yourself: “What would I do today if I already trusted the path?”. Live it even only by feeling it through now.

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7. Surround Yourself with Expansive Voices

You don’t need opinions. You need resonance. Be with people, art, and energy that hold you while you’re becoming.

Suggestions:

• Listen to voices who’ve moved through their own transformation.

• Unfollow pressure. Follow depth.

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8. Let Grief and Joy Coexist

You’re shedding a former self. That’s tender. It’s okay to grieve the version of you that’s fading — even if it wasn’t fully aligned.

Practice:

• Write a letter of thanks and release to who you used to be.

• Celebrate the courage it takes to evolve.

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9. Hold the Vision, Not the Timeline

This work is sacred. And it takes the time it takes. Let your vision guide you — but don’t strangle it with expectation.

Affirmation:

“What’s meant for me is already making its way to me — and I’m the version of myself who can hold it.”

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There’s no way to bypass the buffer — but there are ways to walk through it with grace. And one day, not long from now, you’ll realize:

You didn’t just survive it.

You were becoming the whole time.